Grave Danger (Re-crap)/ Part II

A reminder: Nick has been kidnapped, stolen, or possibly run off with a hooker. Again. We pick up from where the CSI gang is checking out the scene.

(Back at crime scene, Catherine has fun playing through an empty trash bin. It‘s amazing that she went into it well-dressed. Even if it was empty, I think there‘d be an odor to drive you nuts and cling to your clothes.)

Catherine: I remember doing a dance like this back in the day. That bastard never paid that $2000 for humiliating myself.

Grissom: This is very odd. Entrails do not just drop here without any blood spatter. Someone set us up the bomb!

Catherine: So all your base are belong to us?

David: Woohoo, I get my first line!

Ecklie: I’m going to be a compassionate motherfucker, the first of many times that I am one, and tell you all that this is the only case we should concentrate on. Nick’s life is important to me. And all the fan girls that watch this show.


(Lenny Kravitz, a.k.a. Warrick, arrives. Prepare yourselves for some angst!)

Bloodhounds: *hump Nick’s vest*

Everyone: *chases the horny dogs*

Doggies: *lose the scent of Nicky’s beautiful body odor*

Warrick: Obviously a vehicle was here and Nick was shoved into it. This area is obviously dry. Why we don’t see the back tires streaking through the dry part here is not going to be explained.

Car: *menacingly getting rained upon*

Warrick: *measures the dry yet suspiciously has no wet tire tracks area*

Warrick: Time to take my notes down. *reaches around and feels..gasp, Nick’s coin!* OH NOES! Angst alarm going crazy! Must resist…these feelings…by…thinking of…Nick…you beautiful human being!

Nick: *gets shoved away in a flashback by strangely frail man. Yes, this won’t be explained ever.*

Warrick: Holy crap, this coin is a half-dollar! They still make these things?!

(Back at coroner’s place, Doc Robbins gets to play entrails. They look disturbingly like Polish sausages.)

Doc Robbins: This is bad. This is very, very bad. This dog had heartworm!

Catherine: Wait, these are dog entrails?! And how the hell do you know it had heartworm from looking at its intestines?!

Doc Robbins: Oh right! These entrails don’t have an appendix. In other words, this is useless crap for you.

Catherine: *storms off*

Doc Robbins: Give Nick’s family my condolences and support.

Catherine: Oh…right. I should call his parents and let them know what happened! Thanks for reminding me! *skips away*


(Yeah, I realize this one is short but that’s cause I’m having a hard time mocking the next scene. I promise it will continue though!)

Go back to Part I

Go to Part III

Email me: