Second Love

 

Fandom: Sailor Moon (no particular season but I guess you can say it’s the 1st)

 

Disclaimer: Sailor Moon belongs to Naoko Takeuchi, not me. I’m just a lowly writer.

 

(This is the story for my 1500th visitor, Jazmine. She wanted a Mamoru and Rei so I did my best to write one. It turned out to be more of a depressing vignette than fluff. Ah well. I know it’s short but then again, it is a vignette. The two bits at the beginning and end come from “Second Love”, a song by Pain of Salvation. I thought it fit Rei’s mood nicely.  Enjoy the story.)

 

 

 

~By the nights
Night after night
The stars are shining so bright
Though our pain is larger

than the universe tonight~

 

----

 

Forever.

 

That’s what I thought my life would be like with Chiba Mamoru. We’d spend forever with each other, embracing and just enjoying life. Maybe I could have started a family with him. I know it’s too early to think of that but that’s how I felt. I was in love with him and I wanted him to be mine. Until that point, I thought he would be mine.

 

Then that point came. The truth came out. He belonged to someone else. He belonged to Tsukino Usagi, my friend and our princess. And to make matters worse, Usagi did fall in love with him. She loathed him in the beginning but now loved him. And I? I was forced to give up on him and my dreams of being with him.

 

They were meant to be together.

 

I hear that all the time, the voice in my head and my heart kept reminding me. I know that Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Kamen were meant to be together. Other people tell me too. I don’t know. Do they want to hurt me or something? Because hearing that is painful.

 

I’m sorry, Rei-chan. I hope you forgive me.

 

I have to, Usagi. I don’t have a choice here. Sure, I could hate you and Mamoru for being together but what good would that do? We are Senshi. We’re supposed to fight together and protect one another. If I was consumed with rage and jealousy, then I couldn’t be a Sailor Senshi. I would be betraying the princess. And more importantly, I would continue hurting everyone including myself.

 

I did like you. You weren’t like Usagi. You were responsible and serious.

 

A lie. Well, maybe I’m not like Usagi but he liked me? No. I bet he looked at me as another annoyance. I clung to him because I liked him. I wanted to be his everything. I wanted to spend my life with him. I was there first! I loved him before you did!

 

Once upon a time, there lived a princess and her prince.

 

But I’m not his princess. She is.

 

No matter what happens, you will always have the memories and you will always be the one who loved him first.

That’s true. I do have memories. Usagi may be the one destined to be with him but I was the first to love him. I was the one who cared about him first. Usagi only came afterwards.

 

So why is everyone referring to me as his ‘second love’?

 

That I’ll probably never understand.

 

~Time after time
I am wasting my time
Living in a past

where I was strong
But now I am gone
I leave no shadow

when I'm alone
I'll stay forever in my dreams

where you are near~

 

~OWARI~

 

 

 

(Well, I hope you all enjoyed this vignette hoopla. And I hope I satisfied you, Jazmine. I hope I did just to the Sailor Moon fandom as well. Till next time)

 

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Email me: sweetandsourcyanide@excite.com