Tiny Misunderstanding

(Prologue)

Rating: PG

Summary: After a night of drinking, Reno accidentally stumbles into Yuffie’s bed. When she finds him, he tells a tiny lie to save his drunken self: that he came because he loves her and wants to take her out. Unfortunately, she believes him. Things get worse when he can’t tell her he doesn’t love her…or does he? (Slightly OOC)

Pairing: Reno x Yuffie. Yup, there’s your warning. Don’t like, then don’t read.

Disclaimer: FF7 is not mine.

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Know what I’ve just realized? I like only three things in life. There are three things I can’t live without. I can’t live without alcohol. I can’t live without cigarettes. And I can’t live on a planet without a female species. I don’t love them in that exact order but I need them to survive. If one of things disappeared from my life, I’d probably shrivel up and die of boredom.

Take now for instance. I’m sitting at a bar, smoking a cigarette and drinking my sixth jug of beer. Is it my sixth? I lost count a long time ago. Who cares, I love beer! And I love the smell of smoke coming from my cigarette. Hell, there are times that I love beer and cigarettes more than women.

“And I’m left with only 3 hours to decide what to wear, that sleeveless peach dress or the blue short sleeved one. It wouldn’t worry me so much if it was someone else but this is Tseng! I need at least 3 weeks to put my outfit together!”

Now is one of those times.

I better explain what’s going on. Tseng, our boss, asked Elena out. Now ‘Lena worships this man, the ground he walks on, the water he bathes in, the toilet he takes a crap in, etc. So imagine her delight when he finally popped the question. I think her lungs stopped working for a few seconds and she couldn’t breathe.

But Tseng was lucky. All Elena said to him when he asked her out was ‘yes’.

Rude and I, on the other hand, weren’t as fortunate. ‘Lena doesn’t have very many friends to tell her good news to. And us Turks stick together. Do the math.

Yup, Rude and I spent 24/7 listening to Elena go on and on about what she would do on her date. She would get this glazed look in her eyes and practically melt into a messy puddle whenever either one of us said his name (when she gave us a moment to talk, that is). Now, don’t get me wrong. We like Elena. She may be a rookie but she’s a smart woman. She’s helped us out a lot. She doesn’t seem like the kind of woman who’d lose brain cells every time she thinks about the man of dreams. But that’s exactly what she was acting like now.

Which leads me to our current situation. Rude and I are sitting here, listening to ‘Lena tell us about her outfit for the 135^th time, and pretending that we care when we don’t. Rude just sits there patiently and I’m drinking to take my mind off ‘Lena’s babbling. The one good thing about too much alcohol consumption is that it dulls the senses including hearing.

“And what makeup should I wear? Does Tseng prefer warm colors or cool?”

See why I love beer so much?

“Reno!”

Ouch! Her voice pierced through my thoughts like a toothpick being shoved in my ear. Putting my glass down, I turned to her with a smile.

“Yes?”

Elena looked annoyed, her arms crossed and her face twisted into a frown. Next to me, Rude was smirking. I knew I was in trouble.

“I asked you a question!” She snapped.

Well, duh! I know you asked me a question! I just don’t know what that question is!

I didn’t say this out loud though. Instead, I managed to ask. “What do you want, ‘Lena?”

“I asked you if I should wear a little perfume or a lot.” Then the look on her face turned into one of disgust. “Ew, Reno, you smell! How much have you been drinking?”

I blinked. “What’s it matter to you?”

“Plenty. I can’t trust the suggestions of a drunken ass. I’ll end up looking like a compost pile if you helped plan my date with Tseng. And he’ll never forgive me for looking like that!” Elena looked ready to break down. Then she calmed down. “Thank God that Rude is here. He’s sober and patient. He’s not drinking himself silly like some pigs.”

Thanks a lot, ‘Lena. That makes me feel happy as a clam.

“So you don’t want my help?” I asked.

“No. You can go. You’ll ruin everything if you stay.”

Oh no, I won’t get to hear ‘Lena plan out her big date with Tseng. I’ll miss out on what color lipstick she’ll wear and how she’ll do her hair. What a tragedy.

“Fine.” I tried to look disappointed. “That’s okay, I got a date waiting for me upstairs.”

This was true. Before coming down here, I had hired this girl named Lola to do some ‘things’ with me. I told her that I would go down for a quick drink and come straight back. She was wait in my room until I came back up. That had been my plan. But, as I soon found out, plans can go awry. Elena soon found Rude and me and dragged us into a living underworld.

I think Lola got pissed and left off. She probably took my money with her.

On the other hand, a night of loneliness was better than spending a night listening to Elena babble about Tseng. I was overwhelmed with glee. Ha ha, Rude! Enjoy the blather. I whistled, shot Rude a triumphant look, and headed up to my room. I was victorious! I was free! I would live to fight off twerps like Avalanche for another four hours! I HAVE SURVIVED! Things can’t go bad now!

Then I remembered something. There’s a bad thing about too much alcohol consumption: memory loss.

I forgot where my room was.

TBC…

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Author’s Note: I know, no Yuffie yet. She’ll come in the first chapter along with everyone else. Yeah, I know Reno sounds a little too coherent for a drunken guy. But I also know people who can guzzle tons of alcohol and still be coherent. My cousin drank as much as Reno did one time and we all understood him. So it is possible for a drunken guy to make sense. I’ve seen proof.

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Email me: sweetandsourcyanide@excite.com